Samstag, 17. November 2007
Be a different fish,swim in your own pond.
All of us are endowed by the creative-sprit...none of us own the ruling magic wand on this. Every one has a style all their own.
I listen to teachers tell students"your style is off, you must do it this way". If your teacher allows these words to pass her or his lips, run do not walk away from that class.
I remember reading a book that said" In the begining he CREATED humans and these humans are also creators.". It was the Bible and he was God. If God said your creative then you are.
You were also given free will and the ability to dream. Do it DREAM!
I was ask some questions by a artist here and my answers were as follows:
My Dear Friend:
To enhance my life to give it color,rhythm and narrative,form and beauty,I engage in activities you may call creative-writing,painting,singing,dancing,playing harp and flute-and I seal them up in a special compartment and keep them isolated from the rest of my experiences.I can not spell worth a darn but I do try to write daily.
The whole secret of the spiritual life is a painful struggle to come awake. and not fall for the distractions and diversions. They account for our sometimes frustating inattentivenss and impatience;they may lead some of us into a Reliance on drugs and alcohol,sexual promisculty,over eating ,over shoping and other attitudes and behaviors that deaden our senses and stifle our sprit,the source of our creativity.
None of your desisions are isolated acts,enclosed in some air tight chamber.
Exerise was for me, the 1st thing that started my trip of a life time.
Became a Vegan and started standing up for things I truly belive..Green peace,Sierra club, Peta and preventing hunger for children here in the USA.
Once I began to heal my body and mind, my creative thoughts and talents flew fom my hands and camera.
I lost 28 pounds, now 5'8 and 120 pounds I am in great shape, I now taste my food rather than eat for social reasons. Never drink or do drugs...but it was not always that way.
I found my self single in 2003 after being married most of my life. In my fourties and overweight. In 04 I was fighting cancer, I say stress induced.
I moved from Montana where I had been married to a wonderful man(13 years) who gave me every thing on the earth. Every thing but the butt kicking I needed give up the taste of fine wine. The over shopping that I did daily. I did as a man said" consume well"
I lived on snob hill and had any and every thing I even acted like i wanted. What I was missing was a creative life, someone who understood my need to learn and grow. Someone to say, go ahead and paint..the cocktails can wait.
In the end we fell apart and went our own ways.
I traveled to the southern cost of Alabama where I had a few half sisters I did not know. I thought it would be nice to get to know them and maybe spend some time on the ocean sailng.
After three weeks I was out with my new sisters at a dinner club and from the other side of the room a man stood staring. He walked over and said" you have a twin in Florida" that was the start of my life changes.
This man was a past BBC photographer and every woman who saw him,wanted him. He was tall, handsome, a scottsman that had been raised in England. Well spoken,well dressed with a
Thick accent and a sensual sense about him. After a year of dating and watching him, I found myself in the clutch's of a full outright con game.
I did learn some very wonderful things from him...that drinking made you stupid when you speak. Often after drinking a case of Bud Light on his own he would tell me things that I knew where made up. I knew this because he would tell me "his life history stories" that I had read in books.
He may have changed a name or so but the stories were from books and old movies. He never knew me truly. Only what I allowed him to know. I did not trust him.
The fact that I had two Ph.D's,drove a nice sports car,lived on a private Island, was a lure. He saw money signs. Being broke he made me his next target. Later I found out he had a record with the law and about five women on the east coast.
I had hit rock bottom, I fell for a has been. he was hell bent on his own journey to hurt any woman he could and take advantage of any one with the money he now needed to live.
He was funny, and a teacher for me in many ways and has become a my lesson of life.( the scar on the knee,the missing front teeth that a child remembers being so painful.)But learns to live with and grows and learns from.
I also learned that being creative is a given, you are born with this talent. I also learned how to dodge a right hand slap when a drunk comes after you. What I did not learn until it was too late was; People can be your worst enemy.
While a dog can be what saves your life,teach's you how to love again and never expect you to lay down your life in exchange for love.
A dog ,cat,horse,bird can teach you what I call higher eduction. A real education .
Lord Louis is a English Cocker Spaniel who I am blessed to have in my life. I call him loui.
He taught me patience as a puppy and total comentment as a young dog, Now he is teaching me to love deeply again.
That unconditional love that i knew once as a child but had forgotten.
My point is that to find yourself awake and creative again..you may have to go through some awful times to see or be the best. Give up a few things that in the end are bad for your health and mind.
Review the people and things around you..If they are toxic,put them where they belong.The Trash no matter who they are, family,friends or partners. Toxic is toxic no matter what name you give them. Just rememeber they may be toxic to you but be a muse for others so do not harm them in any way, simply walk away and be thankful for the lesson.
Become thankful for the things and friends that are healing to you. Reach deep into your soul and mind , find the art that brings peace to you. Doing art for simply the money is not being creative,it's being a con.
Painting something or someone you do not see in your soul is like driving a Rolls Royce drunk. I have done that.
You do not feel the rich leather, fine purr of the hand made auto.. Only with a clean mind and soul will you notice the name on the kick plate of the one man that made your auto. Only with a clean mind wll you notice the fine crystal serving tray in the back seat.
Only then will you understand that it is the AUTO that others admire not you when your drunk and not in touch with who you truly can become or are.
I am not preaching about not drinking, as I know how that feels also. But I am telling you, you can not be your best if you allow drink to be your drug.
I find running a deep bath, turning off the lights, lighting sandalwood candels, turning on some soft new age music a better high now.
I have a ways to go in the healing department, but I am remarried to the man I left in Montana and he now understands my need to be creative and sometimes the off in space looks..lol
I hope I have answered the questions from the young lady who ask" why did you give up art for three years" the answer, I was in a toxic life and had toxic people around me all the time.
I had to figure out who was real, toxic or putting me in harms way. Then I had to focus on me.
Best of Luck in your MTV show, life and healing.